Quit these pretentious things and just punch the clock
These days my life, I feel it has no purpose
But late at night the feelings swim to the surface
Posts tagged seth meyers.
Really!?! with Seth and Amy was glorious in every single way last night:
‘Really, Congress? You held a Congressional committee on reproductive rights and you did not invite any women? Really? That would be like not inviting any men to a Congressional committee debating the Maxim Top 100.’
‘The Virginia House of Representatives passed a bill that requires women to have a Trans-Vaginal ultrasound before having an abortion. Really?! Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Trans-Vaginal. It’s my favorite airline. I’ve got so many miles on Trans-Vaginal that I always get upgraded to Lady Business.’
‘But Virginia wasn’t done - they also passed a bill saying that life begins at conception. What’s next? Life begins at last call? Life begins when you click send on your match.com profile?’
‘Mike Huckabee joined the fight against President Obama’s mandate saying, “we’re all Catholic now.” Really?! You know who is not all Catholic now? ALL CATHOLICS NOW. Ninety-eight percent of Catholic women say they’ve used birth control and the other two percent are always the ones trying to get a church to start a softball team.’
‘DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!’
"
Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for President as a Republican, which is surprising, since I assumed he was running as a joke.
Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic, because a fox often appears on Donald Trump’s head.
If you’re at the Washington Post table with Trump, and you can’t finish your entree, don’t worry — the fox will eat it.
…Gary Busey said recently that Donald Trump would make a great President. Of course, he said the same thing about an old, rusty bird cage he found.
Donald Trump owns the Miss USA paegeant, which is great for Republicans because it will streamline their search for a vice president.
Donald Trump said recently he had a ‘great relationship with the blacks.’ Though unless ‘the Blacks’ area family of white people, I bet he’s mistaken.
"— SETH MEYERS, at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner (via inothernews)
